09.26.2011 - Stuck on the negative? You can blame, then TRAIN your brain.

Hey kids!


This weekend at yoga school I learned so much about the brain, not sure if I'd learned it before in school and forgot or if I'd never heard it before. But your brain is biologically wired to remember stressful situations far more vividly than pleasurable memories.


In your brain, the Amygdala, responsible for the basic emotions like fear, anxiety, and desire, is nestled closely to the Hippocampus, which is responsible for memory and turning short-term memories into long-term memories. This was clearly developed for survival, back when we used to have to run from lions and bears. So, the first time we encountered a bear and it lunged at us, the senses activated in the moment are immediately seared into the memory (so next time this happens, we know whether to run away or stay and fight): the smells of the trees, the sight of the shiny sharp teeth and claws, the sound of the bear roaring (what to bears do...lions roar...bears...yell?? I don't know they are so scary yet they look so huggable), the feeling of the rocks and leaves under our feet running as fast as we can away from this life-or-death, fight-or-flight situation. You can feel the fear in your chest, and your heart pumping wildly inside it...the stress response is super-intense for a really good reason. But, now that we don't have to run from bears anymore, and modern life is all sorts of complicated crazy, this mechanism is actually destroying some people, leaving them stuck living and making decisions based in fear and darkness.

Love yer brain...even if it is a Negative Nancy by design!

I learned that teachers actually create stress for students, by giving ample homework assignments and pop-quizzes, because people commit the information to memory easily and permanently when they are stressed while learning. Obviously there's a healthy amount of stress required. I think if a situation is too stressful or traumatic, the mind will just repress everything about an experience other than the residual, visceral negative feelings that remain in the subconscious mind caused by the experience.


This explains that depressing statistic that when someone has a good experience they'll only tell 1-3 people, if they had a bad experience, they'll tell 9 people (I don't know the numbers, I actually got that statistic from The Office (UK) point is, people love to talk shit, it feels great...in the moment.) It's why it's so hard for people to "take the good with the bad" because, the mind is programmed to remember the bad stuff more deeply than the good stuff.


We know the mind is powerful beyond comprehension though, and can be controlled and transformed, if the will is strong and the work is done to make it happen.


Knowing this now, how can we train the mind to be as alert, and accepting to commit all the sensations of a positive situation to memory, as vividly as we commit a negative experience to memory? Is it even possible if this mechanism to remember stress is hard-wired in our physical brain?


I personally do not know the answer to this question, but I'm going to begin doing work on myself to see what happens and will most definitely share the results here. I know I have a very easy time taking myself back to a past negative experience and nearly re-living it, I can feel the pain in my chest and/or stomach the moment I think of it. Once something triggers a bad memory, and it can be as innocuous as a commercial on TV, my brain and body take me back almost immediately. I don't think this is something I will live with forever, because I know why my mind goes to a dark place. I understand and have forgiven loved ones that have hurt me in the past and have a great relationship with those people now. I know they didn't mean any harm to me, but I also know there's nothing they can do to take the residual pain away, clearly the forgetting part is harder than forgiving, and that has to come from me.


I'm going to try my own meditation "experiment" on myself to see if I can train my mind to feel positive memories as viscerally, if not more so, than negative ones. I've already done Biofeedback Therapy and I know the mind is completely trainable, it just takes time and practice. It's about finding a practical "exercise(s)" to re-train the mind. The other thing I learned in Biofeedback about myself was a little alarming: One day the therapist tried to teach me this technique called "The Heart Exercise", where you concentrate on your heart and feeling the warmth there, which is supposed to soothe. But, I found when I concentrated on my heart, all I wanted to do was cry, because I just felt sadness there. The therapist just told me not to do that exercise, she surmised I must have things I need to work on, but she didn't recommend continuing to practice that exercise, but to continue to manage stress in other ways. 


This weekend though, I told one of my Yoga teachers (and the owner of Revolution Yoga) Amanda, about it, and she thinks (and I agree) that there's a blockage in my Heart chakra. My emotional pain in stressful situations goes right to my heart. I feel a deflating, crushing ache there, and I know most other people are familiar with that pain in their chest (which I believe maybe has something to do with the Vagus Nerve in the heart which is associated with the parasympathetic nervous system; just an educated guess based on what I've learned about that nerve this weekend.) I store all the bad feelings there, that's why memories bring that same sensation in my chest as much as something bad happening in-the-moment.


Amanda explained Samskaras (impressions/memories) and their effect on the subconscious mind by pressing chalk into a piece of smoothed out Play-Doh. Mom yelled in your face when you were 5: that leaves a permanent imprint; your first kiss, that leaves an imprint; losing a loved one, that leaves an imprint; seeing a violent movie, that leaves an imprint. 


Long story short: a consistent meditation practice can help to "smooth out" and erase those impressions. One reaches Samadhi and finds peace when the Samskaras are removed completely.


I've come up with three things I can do every day to help cultivate lasting positivity in my mind; I think this could be applied for many people, so if you try it, please leave a comment and let us all know how things went for you! Here goes:


1 - Touch/See/Taste/Hear/Smell Memory. As soon as I'm aware (because we take a lot of little things for granted) that I'm having a positive experience, even if it's just listening to my favorite song while riding on the train and taking in a beautiful day, (if possible) I'll close my eyes, and focus my attention on each of my 5 senses one at a time. Feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, the taste in my mouth at the time, the feeling of the headphones in my ears and the seat supporting the weight of my body, my breath traveling in and out of my nose and lungs, the sound of the music, the way it makes me feel, the colors of the train seats, etc. I'll then imagine these positive sensations as some kind of stream of light, wrapping around my heart and warming it from the inside out, really feeling the lovingkindness swelling in my chest, viscerally and emotionally.


If I can employ this in mundane situations, I could eventually do this with all kinds of positive experiences without even thinking about it or concentrating on it. Eventually, my hope/inference as to what the result will be is that when something good happens, my "heart" feels uplifted and warm, as intensely as it feels pain when faced with negative stimuli; and also when this positive memory is recalled, the lightness/warmth I felt in the heart at the time can be immediately felt again days, months, years later; the way my heart can feel a depressing feeling when I recall a negative experience. Which brings me to the second part of my practice:


2 - "Tar Melting" (visualization) When faced with a stressful situation, I need to find a way to protect my heart. I know shit's going to happen and my heart's going to hurt at one point or another no matter what I do, that's life. I'm most definitely of the mind that one doesn't appreciate goodness in life if they haven't experienced pain; and that the bigger you love the deeper the pain is felt when the heart has empathy for another or is hurt by another. Here's where it's tough because it's hard to do visualization meditation when you're in the thick of an argument or something. As soon as I feel the sensation of pain there, I have to remember that the situation is transient, and more than likely is a bazallion times less scary or upsetting than I assume it will be. As soon as I can get a moment to myself, I'm going to try visualizing the pain I'm feeling as black tar around my heart. With each inhale, I'd imagine my heart beginning to swell and glow underneath the tar, and with each exhale, the tar begins to melt and drip away. I think by continuing my first exercise, I can use the physical sensations I've recalled from my positive experiences to help myself really fell the positive-warmth from the inside of my heart that's temporarily being blocked out by this "tar" of negativity.


3 - Nadi Shodhana, or alternate nostril breathing. This isn't my own idea, obviously, but the practice I think will physiologically help create balance in my mind/brain and body. Well, I don't think, I know it will create balance physiologically because that's what Nadi Shodhana does. Science says so. Your Right and Left nostrils are connected to your Right (creativity, spatial perception) and Left (reading, writing, speaking) brain. Quoted from the linked article:

EEG-measurements of participants on the three month courses (1986-91) showed the same improvement of the R/L ratio. The measurements then, however, were not done in connection to any meditation practice, but during ordinary rest, before and after the course. This result indicated a permanent long-term effect (see Bindu no. 5).

These positive changes were found in all instances in regions of the brain that are closely linked to the limbic system, which is the seat of our emotions.

On the basis of our results we therefore conclude that Nadi Shodana, if it is done regularly over a longer period of time, has a favourable influence on the balance between the brain halves and thereby an emotionally stabilising effect on the individual.

Pretty cool, huh? You can learn how to practice Nadi Shodhana properly/safely in this video: 

Check out this video for the energetic/philosophic explanation as to how Nadi Shodhana works:

If you try any of these techniques for yourself, or have your own methods that work for you, please share them in the comments below, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Everyone experiences things differently, not every technique works for everyone, so the more unique ideas shared, the better it is for everyone :)

Namasté!

09.20.2011

Hey yogis!

The whirlwind that will be the next three months is now starting to pick up! I can feel the excitement in my chest!

Last weekend was my first weekend of Yoga teacher training at Revolution Yoga. I'm so happy that RY offered this training when they did, the teachers are all amazing, inspiring and fun people. Amanda, the owner, is such a thoughtful teacher, (she even gave me some tips and ginger beer to help ward off my cold that I'm still getting over hehe) and I'm honored to be training with her and the other women in the group. Everyone is excited to be there, eager to learn and have fun. This weekend was a lot of introduction, including being introduced to our resident Anatomy/Physiology expert (and massage therapist!) Vanessa. I'm really glad that our anatomy studies will be from the perspective of someone that has a very deep understanding of the human body, and she's also as hilarious as she is knowledgeable. I can't believe how much I've learned in the last weekend, and how much more I'll want to know when I'm done with the 200 hour training altogether.

©Hope Harris @Etsy

I also had the pleasure of trying belly dancing for the first time, there was a workshop going on at the studio and Amanda asked if we would like to attend and I said "YES!" before she could finish her question to the group. It was not what I would have thought the class would be, it wasn't instructional, the woman who lead it, Kismet, just kind of put on the music and told us to watch her, she would do it slowly 2 times then do it fast to the music. She said "Don't worry if you can't see me or don't think you got it, just do what your body wants to do and go with the music!" Also I couldn't stop laughing because she kept doing shoulder shimmys and pointing to her "girls" with a giant smile on her face to remind us to stick out our chests haha. Everyone had a huge smile on their face the whole time, even when she asked us to "dance our sadness" and "show someone how sad" we were in our dance, everyone couldn't help but giggle. It was really cool how a lot of women there had never done it before, yet they took to it immediately, no inhibitions, just dancing like no one's watching! I think a lot of it had to do with Kismet and her amazing disposition that just disarms you and makes you feel comfortable, right away. I'm convinced I've met Kismet before, but, maybe she just has a familiar soul, because I can't figure out for the life of me why she looks so damn familiar!

I've been having trouble focusing on my blog and Etsy store, being that I'm looking for an apartment, working insane hours and also doing homework for YTT as well as making sure I attend at least 2 classes a week (plus I have to observe 8 classes before I graduate) for my YTT, plus I've been sick all week...it's been challenging. I don't want to let my blog get too quiet, so I'll aim for at least one entry a week.

That's all for now kids, I may have some more insights later about my training once I get into my homework and have a clear head. Today, the "monkey mind" is all kinds of hyper, maybe after a day back in the swing of things I'll be back to "normal" hehe.

Aloha!

09.08.11

Aloha lovelies!

First off, let me just say that last night I got 100 followers on Twitter! I'm super excited for all the love and having "met"/found such awesome yogis, artists, movers n' shakers, that continue to inspire me on my own path as I watch them travel on their respective paths.

I don't even know who Michael Wex is,
but this picture made me giggle.

As some of you may have noticed, it's been a little bit quiet on my end. I'll tell you why, with the "dramatic" details omitted because they'd just detract from the whole point of this post. Basically, I've been stressing about something I won't really be able to do anything about until October 1st. I know, how incredibly efficient. But, I promise I will connect how Yoga (and cleaning my room that was starting to look like my room when I was 15!) helped me out of this funk by the end of these few paragraphs, so please bear with the kvetch, because I totally have a point!

My roommate wants to move out because she just got a job in the city and thinks the commute is a bit much (I've dealt with a much worse commute for 8+ years so, it's nothing to me, I still make the commute myself but I understand why someone used to a 5 minute drive as their commute would have a problem with being on a train for 40 minutes plus 20 mins on the subway). She has to do what she has to do, I can't be mad at her about it, if the situation were reversed I would hope she would extend the same understanding. I will admit that I am pretty frustrated at the inconvenience of having to spend upwards of $3000 moving with the first month's rent/broker fee/security, on top of having no weekends between September 17th and December 10th (except the program is off on my birthday on October 8th for Yom Kippur! Happy Birthday to me INDEED!) because of my yoga teacher training. So, moving is going to be...fun...at this juncture. But, the good thing about it happening at such a busy time is that it will be like pulling off a band-aid...it'll pull out a buncha little hairs and it may hurt a bit but it will be really, really fast.

Our lease is up November 1st, which is why I can't do anything really until October 1st in terms of looking for a new place.

And the reason why this is not going to be a typical move for me, to make a ridiculously long story short:

I'm not really sure of the security of my job (and not just in the sense how everyone's job is kinda iffy, I mean there's a danger of layoffs and/or paycuts since we're only bleeding money, not making it, ever since last year's lay offs) so I'm not super keen on finding a new place, alone or with a roommate, for fear I may have to break the lease. I don't have someone that can just move in with me here to save the hassle and ridiculous cost of moving by November 1st. I don't have someone I can just stay with in my family and pay a little rent to save money for a few months before I go it alone again. If I could do that, then I'd be able to save enough dough that if I did get a new place after 6 months of living with said family member, and I did happen to lose my job, I'd still be able to pay rent for at least 8 months before finding gainful employment again. (I'm hoping by the beginning of the year I will have some clients/gigs as a yoga teacher and can start to build that career for myself.) If my 9-5 job situation weren't iffy, I wouldn't be concerned in the least about moving to a new place. I was hoping moving in with family could at least be a last-resort option, but, it's not even an option at all. So, without a back-up plan, I'm feeling a little nervous.

That's the reason why I was so quiet, I was doing a lot of thinking...and admittedly quite a lot of kvetching, about things surrounding this situation that I know will not change. I wasn't going to post anything because I couldn't think of any way to express how I'm feeling about this and then spin it into a positive.

After ruminating and sulking for a day, I got off my butt, cleaned my room up nicely like a responsible adult, made space and did some yoga.

"Serenity now serenity now serenity now...!!"

During my first truly present practice in days I remembered/realized a few things: Most of the time, you don't get a "back-up" plan in life, sometimes shit happens and you have to figure it out on the fly. I also remembered one of the Yamas: Self-surrender to God, or in Sanskrit, Isvara pranidhana. I know some people are agnostic or atheist, so you can take God to mean whatever you want it to mean for you, but the concept of Isvara pranidhana is still universal: Have faith and find some peace knowing that things will always be as they should, in challenges and successes, if you do your "work" in life wholeheartedly with love, compassion and no ego, everything somehow falls into place. Very similar to the whole "God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference", thing. Even as an atheist, one could agree that you have to come to this conclusion that you must accept things as they are and just do your best in life, or you'll drive yourself insane sweating everything that happens, taking life's challenges personally.

I should not even be scared of the "what-ifs", I pride myself in my ability to be resourceful and find solutions under pressure, in life and in work situations. And really, no one needs to be scared if they don't have a "plan" to deal with one of life's surprises, things just kind of work out when you just do what you have to do anyway. Not to mention I've been blessed with amazing friends and family, and, worst case scenario, if I were to lose my job and couldn't live alone, I'd just end up in a less-than-ideal living situation with one of my family members that live really far away. I know I won't starve or have to live on the street no matter what happens, so what am I really worried about anyway? 

I was getting into a psycho cycle (say that 10 times fast!) of getting angry with myself for being angry about a situation that I can't control and not getting anything done. (I know, I have super efficient thought patterns). But, I'm done being ridiculous now, yay! I know right now I just have to do my work and wait for October 1st to arrive to take action...unless, if you're a responsible lady that would like to move in with me by November 1, please let me know!

So, if you read all that, you're a trooper, and thank you!

I'm so excited to start school next weekend...I can't even contain myself. I know these next 3 months are going to fly by so fast I won't even know what happened! So, with a deep breath and a long exhale...here goes the fastest 3 months of my life. Annnnnnd GO!

Namasté you guys!!

09.05.11 Look What I Made Monday Volume 9!

Happy Labor Day everyone!

I hope you all are enjoying the three day weekend having fun, and spending time with your favorite people! That's how I spent my weekend...plus I made a little something new this week:

My Newest Etsy item: Day of the Dead kitty skull!

I think it's super-cute, I hope you do too! I had fun making it, I also will be making a 1-color made-to-order, T-shirt of this design and will have that up on Etsy in coming weeks in time for Day of the Dead and Halloween!

Starting on September 17th I'll be going to my Yoga Teacher Training 9:30-5:30pm every Saturday and Sunday. I really can't wait! I've already started reading some of my textbooks to get ahead. I also need to practice teaching Surya Namaskar A, I have to be able to speak clearly and succinctly while doing it myself by the first day of class and have English and Sanskrit translations of the poses listed. Piece of cake!...I hope! haha, somehow I have a feeling I've been doing the transition from Chatturanga to Upward Facing-Dog "wrong" all these years...no one has ever said anything to me but upon studying it so closely, I'm having doubts haha. I just have always noticed that I don't have as much of that forward motion of the chest when I roll over my toes and come into Up-dog as compared to other yogis. huh. I'll have to work on that...unless I don't have to. I guess I'll find out the proper way in teacher training!

Check back later this week for some long-overdue Etsy purchase reviews! Enjoy the rest of your Labor Day weekend!

xo!

09.01.11 Happy National Yoga Month!

Aloha yogis!

Guess what today is? The first day of National Yoga Month! Wooohoo!! Check out www.yogamonth.org to get all kindsa free Yoga this month!

In the spirit of National Yoga Month, I just wanted to share my yoga playlist from this morning, it got me super pumped for the day, so I thought maybe this would work (it goes on for a little over an hour) for some of you rockin' yogis out there, too!

You can check out my other playlist and how to create your own mindful-yet-kick-ass playlist here!

Tusk - Fleetwood Mac
Planet Telex - Radiohead
Cellphone's Dead - Beck
Fresh Feeling - Eels
Listen Up - The Gossip
Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground - The White Stripes
Venus - Shoking Blue
Who's That Girl - Madonna
Amazon - M.I.A.
Lovegame - Lady Gaga
Shockadelica - Prince
Strange Magic - Electric Light Orchestra

Rain - The Beatles

Houses in Motion - Talking Heads
Walking on the Moon - The Police
Pressure Drop - Toots and the Maytals
Never Never Gonna Give You Up - Cake (covering Barry White)
Book of Right On - Nomo (instrumental Joanna Newsom cover)
Shoganai - King Crimson

Look What I Made Monday Volume 8

Hey Kids!

Well, between new weird work hours, readying for yoga teacher training, and a hurricane this weekend, I've been neglecting my blogging duties and I apologize!

I've been getting distracted scheming, as I mentioned in my last entry, I realized I need to narrow my focus for the moment while I'm in teacher training. But, since I do have a few weeks before it really starts, I'm squeezing in a few more "Look-What-I-Made-Mondays" (also, any suggestions for a better name? It sounds kind of like "lookitmeee!" when I'm making these things to share with everyone, not for me to strut my stuff, I just like to make people smile; "Look-What-I-Made-Monday" doesn't really give that message clearly.) I will of course post any art I happen to create in the meantime, but unfortunately, with my crazy work schedule and full days of yoga school during the weekends, LWIMM probably won't be a weekly occurrence.

This week I've got a new item up on my Etsy store. It's a piece from a children's book I made in college, now available as a digital print! Woohoo! I'm hoping to one day have the book for sale on my store. I want to bind it myself but I've yet to figure out an efficient way of doing that, I will more than likely have to have it bound as a board book, which is quite expensive. I want it to be affordable for parents since we know how toddlers manhandle and destroy these kinds of books, but I can't just print it on paper and saddle stitch them because they'll never last. Oh well, I'll figure it out someday!

Valentina Design

Also I've created a new Etsy Treasury today, in the spirit of feeling super lucky since I was spared the brunt of Hurricane Irene, this one features lots of good luck charms and imagery. My favorite piece is this here elephant by Valentina Designs. She makes really lovely animal illustrations, I love all the mini patterns and spirals she uses, her hand is so whimsical, LOVE it! Check out her shop!

That's all for now lovelies! I've been stalling on reviews for CurlyCuffs, Bellaroma Boutique and Shovava, so, check back later this week for pics and rave reviews on these rockin' Etsy sellers!

08.19.11 Red Treasury!

Aw...it's the last of 7 in my ROY G. BIV Treasury series :( It's okay I'll still make more Treasuries, but this was fun! Now I'll have to get more conceptual with my Treasury themes hehe.

Annie Rodrigue/Moonlight Whispers

Nicole Kristiana Studio

I love this Red Riding Hood interpretation by Moonlight Whispers, it's so cute yet creepy hehe. Lil' Red here reminds me of an older, girl-version of Squee for some reason (maybe it's just the dark circles around the big eyes, dunno) hehe.

Nicole Kristiana Studio  have some really beautiful animal illustrations. Everything is so whimsy and colorful, this lil froggy was perfect for my Red Treasury.

And this lovely cardinal illustration seems like it's not the typical (anything but typical, I really LOVE that piece!), more illustrative/conceptual work of The Gorgonist. It's really a gorgeous little watercolor.

I mentioned last week that I had ordered from CurlyCuffs and Bellaroma Boutique (whose Strawberry scrub I included in this treasury because I love it so much!...and it's red!) and I wanted to review them with pictures. I ordered a new, much better quality, camera this week, and I figured it would be best to take better pictures and then write my reviews. So, I didn't forget, next week, that's what's coming!

Sorry blog's so short this week, I've been a little distracted. My Yoga Teacher Training is getting closer and closer and I'm realizing more and more I will have to focus on one thing at a time. This week I heard a quote that kind of woke me up: "The man that chases two rabbits catches none" or something to that effect. I've chased 2 or 3 or 4 rabbits for many years, I'm passionate about a lot of things and hate to think I have to compromise and pick one. I have this ridiculous will to do everything at once as though I'm never going to die and have 3 lifetimes to "master" all of these things. But, I know I will never be the best I can be at anything if I don't give one thing all of my focus and attention. It's a known business fact that if you want to be successful, you have to have a narrow focus. You're allowed to do more than one thing, but you have to "master" one thing at at time.

Action leads to clarity, and in the last month or so of blogging and creating things for my Etsy store and getting more involved in the yoga community (online and locally), I keep getting pulled more toward yoga and focusing on teacher training. Every time I intend to find a new Etsy artist or blog, I get distracted by something on Elephant Journal and get sucked back into a yoga vortex (in a good way!)

I realized I will be working full-time, plus every weekend from 9-5 I will be in training. If I attempt to give equal focus/effort on my Etsy store, then I won't be giving full attention on either my store or teacher training. I want to be the best teacher I can be, and the only way to do that is to completely immerse myself in teacher training. I would be stressed out pressuring myself to create new pieces every week, on top of doing teacher training homework and practice, I wouldn't be able to do my best work with either endeavor.

So, basically I will still be involved with Etsy in so far as buying awesome art, jewelry, and clothing, posting in forums, doing reviews every now and again, and showing support to my fellow Etsians whenever possible. But, once September 17th arrives, "Look What I Made Monday" will only return on a sporadic basis when I've found the time/had a stroke of inspiration to create something I want to share with everyone. I will still have my items on my store but I will not be making a concerted effort to add new items in the near future. I know I can always come back to this, so I'll try not to feel anxious about putting it aside for a while :)

Have a great weekend everyone!

08.17.11 "Talkin' Shit About a Pretty Sunset"

Maybe I'm just a little sensitive...okay, I'll be honest I'm probably the most overly-sensitive person I know. Sometimes this works in my favor, other times, not so much. But, I've been noticing something lately in the way people communicate self-dissatisfaction and I wanted to address it.

Wikipedia defines self-deprecation as "the act of belittling or undervaluing oneself. It can be used in humor and tension release."

Self-depreciative talk can sometimes be funny, comedians use it all the time for a laugh. But, for the most part, "in real life", it's not funny, it doesn't make you feel good about yourself (just reinforces negative thinking), and usually makes people around you feel awkward, annoyed, and possibly personally insulted. I know I've been on both ends of the spectrum.

As an example, a really common thing I see, among women in particular, is talking so much shit about their own bodies (and constantly in comparison to others and whatever their ideal body in their head might be) to one another. Recently, a friend of mine was complaining about her cellulite to me (which I have, too) and saying how "ugly" it was. I used to obsess about my cellulite/stretchmarks/blemishes but I kind of forgot about it because over the last few years of practicing Yoga I realized: Complaining about cellulite or anything occurring naturally on your body is like complaining that you don't like the uneven pattern of the rock formations in the Grand Canyon. You're "talkin' shit about a pretty sunset" (aw, Modest Mouse make me smile) basically. The human body is a vessel for the light of life, it's kind of awesome! So, respect it and take good care of it no matter what shape it takes.  

Yoga practice and the Yogic teachings really helped me put my body image (and everything else) in perspective. I've grown to be comfortable with myself which at one point I thought was not possible. Yeah, there are days when I don't feel my best (like on days when I'm sleep/exercise/healthy-food-deprived) but, I have been trying to make it a point not to say what I'm thinking around other people when it comes to that.

When my friend made that passing comment, it reminded me of something I didn't really appreciate about my body at one point. As senseless as it is to have any kind of stigma against something that occurs as naturally in the human body as a pimple, her comment made me feel insecure for a minute. I'm sure she knows I have it too so what the hell would she say that for, right? (I'm not mad at her at all, she just wasn't thinking before speaking, which is a mistake I and most other people make all the time.) I know this wasn't her intention, but for a second I was thinking about what I could "do" about my body. What the fuck, right? Thankfully, I got my mind out of the gutter real quick because I knew I couldn't have the next thing I say reinforce her misguided beliefs about her body.

Instead of telling her "I have it along with 95% of humans too so, shut up!" My answer to her was "You know that you only think your cellulite is 'disgusting' because the media told you cellulite is disgusting, right? Cellulite has been around for all of human history, it didn't stop men and women from finding mates and reproducing...if you didn't have magazines and T.V. with retouched women, you wouldn't even think twice about it." I even went into the whole metaphysical idea that "you are not your body, etc", and that she eats well—lots of fresh fruits and veggies—and has a consistent workout routine, so her body is existing exactly as it should and she should thank it instead of curse it. She said she knew I was right but she still felt "gross". Sigh. You can lead a horse to water, right? It's sad how ingrained it is in our psyche that these things are to be despised in our own bodies—I'm not exempt, it's an active effort on my part to ignore those inclinations to talk badly about myself. 

I don't want this blog to be about women and how we're constantly given negative messages about our bodies, and mixed messages ("You should love your body just the way it is!...Now go buy this expensive cellulite-removal cream that doesn't work!"; "Here's a recipe for decadent chocolate brownies!...HEY buy these diet pills!"; "Be sexy!...But not too sexy or else you're a whore!", etc etc) but, this was a good example of how self-depreciating talk can be inadvertently insulting.

When you say negative things about yourself, especially to friends, family and loved ones, it affects everyone involved. Even if what you say is not related to them personally (Superficial example: If you've got curly hair and you say you hate it when the person you're talking to also has curly hair; as opposed to if the person with you does not have curly hair...), the fact that you don't think so highly of yourself is a message to the other person that they must not know how to choose friends/mates, since you're saying you're so lousy...see what I'm getting at? It's insulting all around! 

In the Yoga Sutra there are 5 Yamas (basically ethical guidelines, for those not familiar), three of them come to mind when I think about negative self-talk, and I use them to quell my urges to beat myself up:

1) Ahimsa, The first yama, is non-violence in thought, word, and deed, to all beings. This includes yourself, so, be as nice to yourself as you are to others. You would never go telling your friend their cellulite disgusts you (because it doesn't and shouldn't—unless you're a jerk...), so, don't do it to yourself. 

2) Asteya, Non-covetousness/non-stealing—when you are dissatisfied with yourself (appearance in particular), it's probably because you're comparing yourself to or are jealous of someone else. Anytime you do that you're holding yourself to someone else's standards; create your own standards. Your standards for yourself should be high, higher than what anyone else may expect of you. Always go for what you want without fear of failure or disappointment, sometimes in failing you learn the most important lessons. Don't be jealous of others' success (or whatever it is they have/don't have that you wish you had/didn't have), rejoice in it, positive energy can light you up, negative energy will just keep you stuck in the darkness of disappointment. 

3) Satya, Non-harming truth—sounds like exactly what it means—always be honest, but do so benevolently. There is always room for improvement, but we have to look at our self-critiques honestly and objectively. For example, you're not "stupid" because you have been procrastinating on a goal, you're just a human and life is crazy and we get caught up. The truth is not that you're stupid, the truth, without a negative story behind it, is that you've been putting something off for whatever reason. Instead of beating yourself up and doing nothing about it, start making a list to reach said goal. 

I won't lie, I still slip up and make passing negative comments about myself to friends and family. While I may eventually stop saying these things out loud, I'll probably have to actively remind myself not to, because: ‎"To have thoughts and beliefs is so human; to get caught up in them is so human; to learn to observe them is to practice yoga." (to quote Judith Hanson Lasater in a recent Elephant Journal interview.) 

The best we can do is be hyper-self-aware and objective, not judgemental, in observing ourselves and how we think and act. Through that awareness, and cultivating it until it becomes second-nature, we can begin to interact more thoughtfully and compassionately with our world and ourselves.


How do you cope with a nasty inner-voice? Please share in the comment box below :)

Namasté <3

08.15.11 Look What I Made Monday Volume 7!

Aloha movers n' shakers! 


So, this weekend I made another digital print. I had a super-fun-packed weekend which kept me from painting and screen printing so I had to resort to Photoshop for this week's project.



"Love to Death" is now available at my Etsy shop! I actually made this as a T-shirt for myself not too long ago (see below) and thought it would be cool as a print. Maybe one day I'll make t-shirts for my Etsy store?

This weekend was just non-stop awesome. Started off Friday night getting off at 5:15 (probably for the first and last time ever!) and I made it to a yoga class, then I got to see my friend Lucy the Last Lucid Lion play at Sapphire Lounge. After that I went to visit The Muggies while recording drum fills in the studio. The new album is going to ROCK I can't wait!!

Saturday I woke up and went kayaking with my friends. Then went to the city for Anusara in the Apple with Bernadette Birney and Elena Brower's workshop. It was such a pleasure to finally meet these two inspiring, lovely women, who greeted me so warmly. I was surprised they remembered my online persona (as I've only @mentioned and commented on their blogs and never met them in person). The class was extra challenging for me since I already killed my arms going kayaking in the morning! But, Anusara is gentle and challenging all at once, very different than my normal dancey-Vinyasa/Budokon style practice. I definitely want to get to more Anusara classes when I can or I'll have to find videos online.
 

It seems like my schedule is going to get crazier and then crazier in a few weeks. Starting today my hours are now 11am-7pm, which means the earliest I will be home is 9pm, and in the mornings I really only have an hour to run errands since most places are not open until 9am (as I have to catch a train by 10:15). Then starting in September when I begin Yoga teacher training I will have no weekends off until September (except my birthday because they don't hold class on Yom Kippur; and if I take vacation days during the week it won't be too bad) So, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to do each week for Look What I Made Monday once my training starts. I'm still pledging to at least do a sketch once a week, just so I don't fall into creative entropy. 

That's all for now, folks!

08.12.11 Orange Treasury!

Yay! Friday!

Here's my Orange Treasury!

©Stephanie Fizer

I love this sweet little fairy by Stephanie Fizer. I just love how warm this is! Stephanie does lovely work, she makes notebooks, stickers, and robots (one of which was featured in my Green treasury!) Everything Stephanie creates is adorable.

Come to think of it this piece may have worked for my upcoming Red Treasury for next week too. Speaking of which, I can't believe 7 weeks went by so fast! Anyway, I'll continue making weekly Treasuries and sharing them on my blog once the ROY G. BIV series is over next week, no worries!

©David Galchutt

David Galchutt actually so kindly started following me on Twitter this week. Really talented guy he is. I kind of get an Alphonse Mucha vibe from his work, (I love Mucha!) but he's got his own thing going on at the same time. Sorta cheated on this one since it's not entirely orange, but, it's spicy-colored and I think it went with everything else in the Treasury nonetheless. It's one-of-a-kind; if I made this myself I would have trouble letting it go, it's just gorgeous!

© Curly Cuffs

I actually made 2 Etsy purchases myself last week, I got a bunch of bath n' body goodies from Bellaroma Boutique, which came in the mail last night! Perfect timing too, it was right after yoga class when I got home so I immediately used everything in the shower. I will put up a full review next week, but, I will say, as I said on Twitter yesterday, I'm never buying another body butter again!

I also ordered this really cool cuff earring from Curly Cuffs. I'm so happy because I wanted to get two more holes in each earlobe but I used to have 2-holes and I remember when I got them done it was terrible (the second hole has since closed up for the most part) and I hated the heat/itchiness/pain from it. So, now I don't have to get them pierced because the good lady at Curly Cuffs made these genius earrings! Will take a customer-appreciation pic once it arrives :)

That's it for this week, see you Monday with another creation my freakishly small hands have put together! Have a great weekend, kids!

08.10.11 New PIF Treasury!

I love making Treasuries, they take a lot of time but, they're really fun to put together, I get to browse hundreds of lovely items, plus I'm promoting fellow artists. Winning!

Today I wanna rep my Etsy team, The Etsy Entrepreneurs, here's my second Pay-it-Forward Treasury, all with work from my fellow EE Teammates! In case you haven't seen it yet, as Mystic Hills Ngaroma so kindly Tweeted it on Monday as I featured her Igor the Creepy Grungy Monster Doll!

Igor the monster!

@Mystic Hills Ngaroma on Etsy!

I'm so glad to have "met" Tammy of MHN. A classy, uber talented lady all the way from the hills of New Zealand! I love the internets and how it can bring people worlds apart together :)

One of my other faves in this Treasury is this Tentacle Stem Painting by Her Ghost Store. Whimsy, bright colors, and sea creatures—of course I'm loving it!

Available

@her Ghost STORE on Etsy

I had some trouble just picking one piece of jewelry from Curious Crow Jewelry's shop, everything is so beautiful! But after much back-and-forth, I opted to pick this floral etched leather bracelet.  I wonder how they etch it? I know next to nothing about jewelry making, I would love to know how this is done. I like that it's slightly weathered looking too.

Available @Curious Crow Jewelry on Etsy

Come back on Friday for part 6 of 7 in my ROY G. BIV Treasury series: Orange!

08.08.11 Look What I Made Monday Volume 6!

Elefly ©missbernklau

Hey Kids! Happy Look What I Made Monday!

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend! Mine went by way too fast. I spent my entire Saturday at my grandmother's house, came home with heaps of fresh veggies from Long Island farms and lots of new clothes and jewelry. My grandma is the best!

So, two new items on my Etsy store today! First thing's first, my Elefly is ready to go! Tell ya friends!! I decided to make this a digital print for now, I want to see if people like it, if they do then I will do a hand-pulled screen print version of this as well.

Plus, an oldie but a goodie, one of my many octopi prints is now available as a digital Epson print! I made this back in college but it's one of my favorites.

Octopus & butterflies ©missbernklau

I also just purchased some yummy goodies from Bellaroma Boutique on Etsy last night. She makes all-natural bath and body products and all of them look so delicious. I ended up getting Peach Kernel Moisture Butter, Wild Strawberry Body Scrub, and the Green Tea and Honeyquat Facial Scrub. I will have to try not to eat any of these things before using them because they probably smell awesome. Diana, the shop owner, also so kindly promoted my Facebook page, so, thanks! You can also find Bellaroma Boutique on Facebook too!

Stay tuned for Friday, I'll have a new Pay-it-Forward Treasury, to thank the lovely Etsians who so kindly included my work in their Treasuries in the last week or two. I'm honored that people from as far away as New Zealand are liking my work. It's been really fun to make new friends in the Etsy community; I'm glad there's such a great sense of comradery and respect among sellers and I look forward to making even more friends and getting inspiration from all the talented Etsians out there :)

Ta-ta for now!

08.05.11 - Mellow Yellow Treasury!

Aloha, Lovelies! Man, I love a Friday after a short work week, I hope some of you also were afforded the same luxury this week too!

© Cathy Hillegas

As promised, here is my Yellow Treasury, part 5 of 7 in my ROY G. BIV Treasury series! This was the hardest one to put together. I normally include only illustrations/prints, etc, this time I branched out to jewelry and photography.

Speaking of photography, I initially thought this beautiful watercolor by Cathy Hillegas was a photo! The way she got the leaves to look translucent and lit up like that is what tricked me I think.

© Nut and Bee

And the lady over at Nut and Bee has done it again, everything she does is heartbreakingly adorable! I love these sour lemons hehe, so cute! I think I've featured her work in Treasuries like 3 times already without realizing it until after the fact. I want to buy everything she makes, everything is so cute!

Ballet Art also made it into this Treasury too (They were also featured in my Violet Treasury!) with their lovely butterfly painting. I love the little strokes and loose painterly style.

© Ballet Art

This week my Seahorse prints were also featured in MysticHillsNgaroma's Pay-it-Forward Treasury, thanks guys! Next week I'll have my Pay-it-Forward Treasury ready to go featuring one of their items (that's how PIF Treasuries work, for you non-Etsians, if someone features your item in a PIF Treasury, you have to create a new Treasury featuring one of their pieces, and the work of 15 other unique artists, and, if they're nice, those 15 people will do a PIF Treasury featuring your work, and so on.)

© Mystic Hills Ngaroma

Mystic Hills Ngraroma is "the trading name of a couple that live in the remote hills of Marlborough", New Zealand! (Says so on their Etsy profile!) Check out their store, they make some really cool, funky, monster dolls, and they also sell their poetry, and photography. You can also find them on Facebook, be a fan!







That's all for this week kids, have a great weekend! Ya'll come back for Look What I Made Monday Volume 6, now!

08.03.11 - How your psoas can save your low back from agony!

Happy Mond...I mean Wednesday!

I'm back from work today after being on vacation since last Wednesday. I had an awesome week with lots of sleeping in, snuggling and just spending time with my boyfriend :) Yesterday we went to the Bronx Zoo (pictures to come!) which was so much fun. We saw a lot of animals we didn't get to see last time we went (except the Brown Bear, which we are convinced was never at the zoo in the first place because the exhibit is completely empty every time). We got the inside scoop from an off-the-clock zoo employee, too. Did you know otters have the ability to kill monkeys? Well, they do, and that's why the otters aren't in the same exhibit as the Ebony Langurs anymore!...Yeah I thought it was a weird random fact to mention to total strangers as well, but, interesting none the less. I don't know why it's so easy to forget that cute animals are still dangerous.

Ebony Langur (I did not take this picture!)

One thing I didn't see, after 4 hours of walking in the heat, was immense low-back pain at the end of the day. Woohoo!

Why? Because I engaged my core muscles while I was walking. I also tried to be mindful of my posture by keeping the tailbone curling in toward the spine, the low belly in and upward, and the low ribs in and upward, while keeping the shoulders back and relaxed.

It's actually very easy to do, well, it's "easy" to learn how to properly engage your core muscles, however it does make walking a bit more strenuous (which is a good thing) and will heat you up from the inside out.

It's not about superficially "sucking in" your belly. It's about moving your body from the muscles in your core. Namely, the Iliopsoas muscles which include the iliacus, psoas major and minor. Ironically enough, the psoas minor (and it mentions this in it's Wiki entry) muscle does not exist in almost half the human population because it is so underused now that we walk upright. But this muscle group is really important for protecting our low backs. When the psoas muscles are contracted, that's when our backs start to feel the pain. Yoga in particular really helps to keep these muscles long and strong.

So, where the heck is the psoas ("so-as") exactly? Finding your psoas can be done by laying on your back, find the top of either hip crest (the point where the bone sticks out most) then find your belly button. Place two fingers at the half-way point between the hip crest and your belly button. Now, push down into this spot, very deeply (like, really, try to touch your spine, of course that's not really possible, but, that's the depth I'm talking about), it will feel a little uncomfortable. At the same time as your are applying pressure to this spot, begin to lift the knee on the same side. You should feel a muscle pushing back up against your finger tips there as you lift the knee. That's your psoas. By the way, gotta thank Sadie Nardini for teaching me that technique!

Try finding that spot again when standing up and walking and feeling it push back against your fingertips. Visualizing this muscle connected to your legs and moving them also helps them to engage. Do this while maintaining the action of curling in your tailbone. A visualization technique for keeping the tailbone inward: Imagine your hip bones as a bowl tipped slightly, and there's a ball in the center that you don't want to fall onto the floor, so you have to keep the bowl as upright as possible.

You will know that you're doing it properly when you feel a burn in your abs similar to what you feel when doing crunches or any sort of core work. If you're pushing too hard you may start to feel soreness in the back and sides of the hips. Back off a little bit, relax the muscles, take some deep breaths, then start again and try engaging the muscles a little less fiercely next time.

It's very easy to lose the connection and forget about it when you're walking and become distracted (I forget all the time, especially in yoga class where it's even more important to keep this area strong). But try to keep an awareness there and if you notice you've stopped being active in your core, just reactivate!

So, next time you've got to take a long walk or go hiking, (or next time you walk anywhere, it only does good things for your back and core to do this) try this and see if it helps ease the burden on your low-back spine. I would love to hear if and how it worked for you! Any questions, please ask in the comments :)

Namasté!